Are men more EMOTIONAL than women???

Hello my fellow Bloggers happy Labor Day weekend. I am not feeling to well, so let't write!! So, over the last decade or so, neuroscientists have been researching the ever-mysterious emotional differences between men and women. As myth has it, men aren’t “in touch with their emotions and hardly express them” while women “wear their emotions on their sleeve” and cry at any given moment. In the realm of sex, it is also believed that there is a hint of emotional engagement for women by default. Well, guess what? That’s not true! In fact, quite the opposite. According to an article in Scientific American, recent studies have concluded, MEN show more activity in the emotional regions of the brain during sex while women, on the other hand, show NONE. No signs of emotional activity during sex and during an orgasm. Well, then why does she laugh, shed tears or get reflective afterwards, one might ask? And the answer is in the question . . . afterwards, when the brain returns to it’s standard state, emotions might rush in. Simple. Okay, to approach this theory from another vantage point, another study shows men are more apt to emotional suffrage in relationships than woman! According toScience Daily, the reason this true is because “their romantic partners are often their primary source of intimacy — in contrast to young women who are more likely to have close relationships with family and friends.”

Hmm, makes perfectly good, non-emotional, logical man-sense, does it not? Think about it, everybody has a male companion or family member that’s suffered through a love lost . . . and they take it pretty rough, right? The man can’t eat nor sleep. He might lose weight and regularly drown his sorrows with liquor in remembrance of “the time we had.” If it’s really bad, he’ll graduate to drunken texts and phone calls searching for answers. Men are lovesick for weeks and, sometimes, months after a breakup! It’s hard for them to let go too! Now, that’s not to discredit or degrade the integrity of a man but more so to prove that when they love, they love hard and strong because their emotions are invested! Unfortunately, they tend to love and invest in the wrong ones but that’s a different subject. So, ladies . . . maybe a little extra sensitivity and tenderness will go a long way with men after all! Let’s give it a go, but keep it simple!

Be Quiet- take your man to a serene outdoorsy spot or leave him alone in a room in your/his place where he can just sit and be still in body, mind a spirit. If he wants to talk, listen. If he doesn’t, that’s cool too. Just be there! If you can create a time and space where he can find peace, even if it’s just for a few minutes, he’ll appreciate you for it. Too often women take a man’s occasional desire for space and silence personally. But it’s therapeutic, he needs that time . . . we all do! Let him have it!

Cook - ladies, it’s effortless to get a man . . . it’s keeping one that’s a challenge. Aaaand you won’t keep him if you can’t cook! As archaic as it sounds, it’s still necessary. If you can’t cook, learn. If you don’t like to cook, learn to love it! If you’re still learning, garnish the hell out of a simple dish! Ask him to make a menu of his favorite meals, make them your own and prepare them with love. “Through his stomach” is a real route if you’re trying to get to his heart.

Show Love - acknowledge his efforts and the things he does. A lot of women think, “why should I have to applaud him for doing the things he’s supposed to do.” Well, you don’t have to — just like he didn’t have to change the oil in your car, hook up your TV or fix the dishwasher. A simple “thank you, baby” or “what would I do without you?” or “I appreciate you, honey” goes a long way and reminds him of why he’s does what he does for you. If you want to take it a step further, give him a shoulder massage for his hard (or not so hard) work and sometimes a good, long, tight hug is just enough.

Take Initiative - if you see your man is slipping, help the man out! If his laundry is stacked to the ceiling, sort it for him — that might be all he needs to spark the desire to wash his clothes. If you see he’s eating from the clean dishes in his sink or dishwasher, put them away. If he’s been talking about revamping resume and has yet to do so, tell him to shoot it your way and trick it out. Be his number one cheerleader and you won’t lose . . . nor will he!

So, even for the fellas, it’s the little things that mean so much! And, as quiet as it’s kept, they’re creatures of emotion also. Even though we express them differently, we all want the same things so, keep it simple and warm!

What are your thoughts, readers? Please leave them below!

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships 

Sextra: Kink or Crossing the Line?

Happy almost Friday, fellow blogger readers! Sorry for the delay in recent post. I did a lightening pole on an open forum. Took me a couple of days to gather my research tehee.I was compelled to do a little asking around about what’s too much in the bedroom. Kinky sex is necessary sometimes to keep things exciting, but there’s that ambiguous threshold that’s sometimes crossed when your partner takes things just a little too far. Blame it on the heat of the moment if you want, but it’s hard to recover from awkward “where did you learn that” or “why would you do that” bedroom moments. Of course, the best way to avoid such headaches is communication, but you’re never prepared for that moment until it arises. Again, it’s a matter of individual preference and it’s natural to test the sensual boundaries from time to time. So is it kinky or crossing the line? Take a look at what some of my bloggers had to say!

Spanking

I love it when my man grabs and smacks my booty. I like the feeling of being handled, especially when he’s getting it from the back and he’s got my hips clutched. Like the article said yesterday, I know he’s smacking it hard too but I can’t really feel it … it stings a little but it’s a good pain, I guess. I love getting tapped but I’m a hands only kind of girl. What I can’t get into is the whips and paddles … but I have been spanked with a hairbrush getting freaky in the bathroom! It was fun I didn’t mind it so much. Keisha, 26

I’m not getting spanked, I mean come on. But I’ll do it. Paddles and whips or whatever, not so much. Personally, I would feel slighted if a woman wanted me to use a paddle or whip on her because she’s then focused on a paddle and not me. Call me selfish but I want her to be focused on me, my hands or whatever else I decide smack that (booty) with. Marcus, 37

Bondage

I had this guy who was really into the ball gags and bondage roping. I thought that was something only white people do but he was really into it. It tripped me out because I wasn’t sure what to think about it. I said I wasn’t into it but he wanted me to tie him up, which was cool. But he really freaked me out when he wanted to be gagged with a ball that you strap to his mouth. And I thought I was freak! He freaked me under the table. That was just too much for me. Reese, 31

I’m going to tell you like this, I tried it once and that’s all I needed. Never again. I’ll cuff my lady and have my way with her because I like to be in control that way. Uh, but ropes and gag balls and masks are just too much. That’s not freaky that’s sick. I think when you get into that kind of thing it ruins the natural act of sex and intimacy. Cuffs and blindfolds, all day but I’m not with the heel that licking b.s. Bryan, 28

Choking

Now I was so against choking the man I’m seeing now put me onto it. He did it in a way that wasn’t too threatening. He’s an aggressive kind of man to begin with so when he did it the first time I was like ‘oh (snap). This is fun!’ I love it now and he chokes me all the time but not to a point where I can’t breathe. Like Mike Baisden says, ‘choke me ’till I’m woozy’ not ’till I pass out. Anita, 27

See I was into to the choking for a while until this one guy really scared me. And we were having pretty good sex up until that particular instance. We were into it and I said, you know, ‘choke me.’ Girl, his eyes lit up like it was Christmas and he choked me so hard and was saying, ‘take this (man part) like a (lady of the night)’ and ‘I knew you were a freak like me.’ But I was really turned off by this and never called him back. I know I asked for it, but I don’t want to be play raped either, you know? Michelle, 32

Dirty Talk

I’m okay with nasty talk. I like it when my boyfriend tells me to say his name or curses at me – I know it sounds crazy- but I love it when he curses and tell me what to do. It’s a mind game for me and I love to do what he tells me to do. Like when he says ‘put that (booty) up and (bang) this (man part’). That really turns me on. I love it! But no name calling! Ebony, 25

A woman can never say anything too freaky to me. Whatever she says, I like it! I don’t think women understand how nasty the mind of a man is. We love that super freaky (stuff) so please don’t be shy. You can moan it, scream it, shout it, whisper … I don’t care. Just make sure you put a ‘Daddy’ or ‘Papi’ at the end of that, and don’t forget to tell me who’s (lady part) it is. Is that too much to ask? I’ll do whatever your little freaky heart desires, it’s all about you baby. J.T., 32

Oral

Don’t gag me. I’m all for the hair pulling and deep throating and I’ll even let you finish. What I will not tolerate is you forcibly grabbing the back of my head and shoving your piece down my throat until I choke and gag. That is totally crossing the line and is completely disrespectful. Out of line. That’s just taking it too far and it’s a violation! Don’t like it. Reina, 28

Sweetheart, I am guilty of your complaint several times over. When you describe it that like, that’s pretty ruff. You don’t like that? That’s a part of the fun! To each her own, but open your mouth and say something! Okay, okay! I’m guilty of it. I hear you loud and clear. I’ll be better about that. Reina’s Boyfriend, 33

Weight in reader, let me know what you think. Are you kinky, freaky, prudish, sneaky freak or just plain ole boring?!?!?!
Oral Sex He'll Never Forget: 52 Positions and Techniques Guaranteed to Blow Your Man Away  Oral Sex She'll Never Forget: 50 Positions and Techniques That Will Make Her Orgasm Like She Never Has Before  Mastering Multiple Position Sex: Mind-Blowing Lovemaking Techniques That Create Unforgettable Orgasms   Amazing Deal! 2 Pleasuring Vibrating Condom Rings, Set of 2 Rings for Her Pleasure and Yours 

Sextra: Ladies, think: Simple.

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Things to come once I get not looky lous but participants on my blog

So... we all know with modern technolgy I can tell how many visitors I get on my blog right?? Cant yet see whom they are but I know how many clicks I get.. Whelp with that said, I have soooo much to talk about, debate, piss off, judge, slam about I want people who will participate in the discussions.. Because guess what? the shit I add on here takes some coding! this isn't facebook or myspace! People who blog actually have to know what the fuck they are doing i.e. html coding etc to post stuff!
Back to my title...

Up coming topics once I have people who are not peekers but SPEAKERS...

1) How many womem "fake" not knowing the 'game' (women who date men who THINK they are running game on them, but the whole time we see thru there fake asses). But again we might not need to talk about that because I think men honestly think their lame ass game is working. shuck and jive ladies!!!!!!

2) Who cheats better, women or men?????? again, once I get more participants I will speak on this. For my friends, they KNOW I have a lot to say. But the dead silence on my page, seeing how many views I get, naw no fair. Participate or get the fuck off my page. real talk!

3) At the tender age of *beep* I have never, nor do I now, have the dreams of white picket fences, two kids and a smelly ass dog??? WHAT THE FUK ME IS WRONG WITH MI?

Mic drops exit stage left! or whatever horse you rode on in... beat it! Your mommy needs to blow your nose for you!

'The Ring': Episode 2 - Preserving Your Sexy

Is it okay to get so comfortable in your relationship that you stop putting forth an effort to maintain your physical appearance? On this episode of the 'The Ring,' Rebecca Brody and Mason Jamal lace up and square off over how much importance should be placed on preserving the sexy for your significant other. Watch -- and then weigh in.

Watch more AOL Black Voices videos on AOL Video

Watch more AOL Black Voices videos on AOL Video

Sextra: I Don’t Like Getting Head (Chronicle II)

Hello my fellow bloggers today is Friday! whoot whoot! I am posting a question from a friend of mine. Good read I hope you enjoy.
I am 35 years old and I love sex just like the next man. I’ve been with my girl for a year and I love her but I don’t know how to get her to understand that not every man needs to get head all the time to be sexually fulfilled.I know I am not alone in this but she’s never been with a man like myself. I’ve just never been a gotta have head kinda dude. I absolutely love wild, circus monkey sex but I don’t need head. As a matter of fact I can do without it, it’s cool but It’s not what I need to get me in a zone, all I need is her and I give her head all the time. I like it she loves it and I feel like I’ve done my part. I understand she wants to return the favor but I don’t need it and most times don’t want it. It softens my erection and she feels bad. Not that she’s not good at it, all I want is her and for her to feel good and because she feels good, I do too. I don’t know how else to communicate to her that it’s nothing she does or doesn’t do for that matter. Women are so complicated.

---Hummmm ok my friend----
Okay, so . . . wow! You don’t like to have oral sex performed on you but your girlfriend is taking it personal. When it comes to matters of intimacy, you cannot communicate enough! “I’m just not a head kind of guy” is probably not enough of an explanation for her grasp the concept of you not wanting oral sex. She may be feeling as though you’re letting her down easy or that you don’t like her style, regardless of how much you try to convince her otherwise. Most men can’t get enough head and for your arousal to lessen as a result of it is, more than likely, a shot to her pride. I have too had a partner that didn't want me to do that to him because he looked at me as his queen and didn't think head should be given by a queen but only from, welp basically jump-offs... Since I have TMJ I really didn't mind not giving it. Yeah I said it! ha!

Ok back to you, I say thoroughly explain to her why it’s not your preference and if you don’t articulate it any better than you did in your letter, then how do you expect her to understand? Paint the picture for her! If it’s because you don’t like the look of a woman’s head in your lap, then say that! If you don’t like the noises paired with the feeling, tell her! If you take issue with the fact that she kisses you, her loved ones and, possibly, her children with her mouth, let it be known! If you haven’t already, really explore, in your own mind, what it is that turns you off about it and share it with her.

Maybe, in time, you can graduate to allowing her to orally stimulate you. Sex is give and take so you have to be open to things she likes also. Maybe you can talk her through it . . . tell her what it is that feels good about her oral work and what she could do more of, focus on what’s pleasurable, three minutes won’t kill you. BAW-HAHAHA And, over time, you might begin to appreciate the art of fellatio and that she wants to do it to you! Hope this helps and good luck to you!

What are your thoughts Steph Boggie bloggers?
Have a blessed weekend my friends! xxoo

A List of Ways to Be a More Supportive Partner (Part 2)

Hello World - Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday!” So being in a relationship is rewarding, fulfilling and all things wonderful but it’s also hard work, right? Anyone who is invested in a relationship probably says, every so often, “I could do better with that.” And, a lot of times, the “that” is being a little more supportive of your significant other. When you get to a certain level of comfort in a relationship, we tend to slip in terms of the attention, time and support you give to the person that’s special to you. Then there’s the domino-effect that follows, one person feels slighted or neglected and, in turn, out of spite or inadvertently discontinues the emotional maintenance needed to keep things healthy . . . and then the fights ensue. A lot of those spats tend to stem from something larger than you forgetting to make dinner reservations and come to surface after the explosion. And one is left to question, “why, didn’t you just tell me that? I can’t read your mind!” Which is often countered with “I did but you didn’t seem to care!” But if you can avoid these upheavals by being a little more attentive and a little more supportive, why not? Paying attention goes a long way, so remind yourself to stay on your toes!

Patience is Key - right, we all have bad days and sometimes your loved one comes at you at the wrong time on the wrong day. No need to unleash your pent-up aggression on the person you care about. Be cool and convey that, “this is not the time.” In other cases, you could just not be in the mood to hear him/her vent about the same things he/she vents about time after time. Give yourself a second, tell him/her that you need a moment, and go wrap your brain around listening.

Reconnect - a lot of times, we tend to get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives we neglect our personal lives and the people in it. Sometimes a night without outside distractions from the television, computer and cell phone is powerfully refreshing. Take a walk or enjoy a quiet dinner with your loved one, discuss the day and enjoy being in each other’s space. Sounds corny, right? But it goes a long way! Just sayin'

Take Initiative - sometime people just need a little push and support to really pursue a hobby or interest. For example, if your loved one loves to cook and rants a raves about wanting to learn more about it, do the research, find a class or workshop and extend the information. A simple, “hey, I thought you might enjoy something like this” goes a long way. Means you’re listening and supportive of their endeavors. Positive begets more positive!

Listen Closely - they say that listening is the lost art, so apparently that means we could all do a lot more of it! It’s one thing to hear what’s being said but listening is completely different. A lot of times, you don’t even have to say a word in return if you’ve listened close enough and sometimes a response is unnecessary and unwanted when you’ve devoted your attention to the one who’s in need of an ear.

Refrain From Fussing - we all go against each other’s greater instincts from time to time and sometimes unsuccessfully so. However, the last thing anyone needs to hear after an epic fail is “I told you so. None of this would’ve happened if you had just listened. See, didn’t I tell you?” Don’t do that! Even though an “I told you so” is in order, it can wait . . . forever! Listening and an, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out but we’ll get through it” kind of attitude is far more encouraging than a fuss bucket!

Celebrate Milestones - who cares what it is, celebrate it! It could be something as simple as making a monthly goal at work, completing a marathon or shedding some pounds! Recognize the results and celebrate them. It doesn’t have to be over the top, a few balloons and roses or a home-cooked meal and card would do the trick. A small token of recognition always resonates with the person on the receiving end!

In relationships, the old saying, “little things mean a lot” still rings true and could really smooth out those rocky patches every couple encounters from time to time.

What are your thought, bloggers? Please share them!I love feedback so please comment below.