Sextra: I Don’t Like Getting Head (Chronicle II)

Hello my fellow bloggers today is Friday! whoot whoot! I am posting a question from a friend of mine. Good read I hope you enjoy.
I am 35 years old and I love sex just like the next man. I’ve been with my girl for a year and I love her but I don’t know how to get her to understand that not every man needs to get head all the time to be sexually fulfilled.I know I am not alone in this but she’s never been with a man like myself. I’ve just never been a gotta have head kinda dude. I absolutely love wild, circus monkey sex but I don’t need head. As a matter of fact I can do without it, it’s cool but It’s not what I need to get me in a zone, all I need is her and I give her head all the time. I like it she loves it and I feel like I’ve done my part. I understand she wants to return the favor but I don’t need it and most times don’t want it. It softens my erection and she feels bad. Not that she’s not good at it, all I want is her and for her to feel good and because she feels good, I do too. I don’t know how else to communicate to her that it’s nothing she does or doesn’t do for that matter. Women are so complicated.

---Hummmm ok my friend----
Okay, so . . . wow! You don’t like to have oral sex performed on you but your girlfriend is taking it personal. When it comes to matters of intimacy, you cannot communicate enough! “I’m just not a head kind of guy” is probably not enough of an explanation for her grasp the concept of you not wanting oral sex. She may be feeling as though you’re letting her down easy or that you don’t like her style, regardless of how much you try to convince her otherwise. Most men can’t get enough head and for your arousal to lessen as a result of it is, more than likely, a shot to her pride. I have too had a partner that didn't want me to do that to him because he looked at me as his queen and didn't think head should be given by a queen but only from, welp basically jump-offs... Since I have TMJ I really didn't mind not giving it. Yeah I said it! ha!

Ok back to you, I say thoroughly explain to her why it’s not your preference and if you don’t articulate it any better than you did in your letter, then how do you expect her to understand? Paint the picture for her! If it’s because you don’t like the look of a woman’s head in your lap, then say that! If you don’t like the noises paired with the feeling, tell her! If you take issue with the fact that she kisses you, her loved ones and, possibly, her children with her mouth, let it be known! If you haven’t already, really explore, in your own mind, what it is that turns you off about it and share it with her.

Maybe, in time, you can graduate to allowing her to orally stimulate you. Sex is give and take so you have to be open to things she likes also. Maybe you can talk her through it . . . tell her what it is that feels good about her oral work and what she could do more of, focus on what’s pleasurable, three minutes won’t kill you. BAW-HAHAHA And, over time, you might begin to appreciate the art of fellatio and that she wants to do it to you! Hope this helps and good luck to you!

What are your thoughts Steph Boggie bloggers?
Have a blessed weekend my friends! xxoo

Love & Marriage: Blow His Mind (Part 1)

“Giving great sex is very empowering.” Fellatio is not simply a favor; it is the opportunity to perform for your lover! To put on a show, to tantalize, to dominate even! Everyone’s end goals in the bedroom are different. One of mine is to feel like I put it down and performing a masterful blow job is a big part of that. I don’t feel used when I’m done, I feel like I’ve been showing off! Is it my favorite thing to do in the bedroom? No, but I get a thrill from knowing I did a good job at it and seeing the effect I can have on a man.
1.Dirty Talking: This is a great way of eliciting consent from your partner for the things you want to do.

2.Use Your Hands: This is perhaps the most important thing to remember! A blow job is not all about the mouth…to do it well, you need to alternate hand action with mouth action. This also keeps both parts of your body from getting tired.

3.Experiment, But Not TOO Much: Try new things and when you find what he likes, stick to them for a while and let him enjoy. Don’t try all 359 new tongue tricks you read about in one sitting. It’s overwhelming and ineffective. Too much switching up keeps you further and further away from the end goal…an orgasm.

4.Be The Eye Candy: Much of the excitement from the blow job comes from what he is seeing…so give him something to look at! Make eye contact, look like you are enjoying your work…think about how enthusiastic the ladies look in porn. If you appear to be tired or bored, no matter how good what you are doing feels, your lack of enthusiasm takes a toll…and is probably prolonging the end goal, which is gonna make you even more tired or bored.

5.Ask The Owner: While visual cues are important (i.e. if he looks happy, he probably is), it’s important that you communicate verbally as well. Keep your inquiries simple: “Do you like this?” “How does that feel?” “What do you want me to do now?”

More tips in my next column, ladies and gents! And if you have some specific questions about performing mind-blowing mouth jobs…please don’t hesitate to ask them below!

Listen to this new Kem off his new album Intimacy